I have come to the sad conclusion,
I must hereby honestly confess,
I fear it is no mystic delusion
but it’s hard to be a poetess.
Now I know I can’t be compared
With The Poetess, Sappho of yore,
but please this needs to be shared
so let me tell you some more,
Now Sappho was very unlucky
Jealous men chose to burn her odes
I have no intention to get mucky
As Sappho walked alternate roads.
Poets need stratagems in today’s age
if they hope to ever make a splash.
Not just special words upon a page
when they want to grab some cash.
So carefully polish your erudite verse
if you must, but learn to talk the talk.
Kitsch is the key for better or worse,
Pose provocatively, do a funny walk.
Wear dreads, never comb your hair
Describe how you followed your muse
Your poems are good? People don’t care,
without glitz and showmanship you’ll lose!
Poetry don’t sell they will tell you
but if you make enough fuss
you might find fame will accrue
if you say fuck a lot and cuss.
If you’re white and have no accent
Of an ethnically interesting shore
Then hours of writing time spent
are nothing without gimmicks galore.
But if you can join the gravy train
of grants, then pundits will acclaim
that you as modern bard do reign.
So flaunt yourself, have no shame.
That is how you play the poetry game!